Yes, I’m human! It’s insane!

So, I have this friend. She’s been married for about 6 years now. She tells me, “My husband hates it when I fart. He says girls aren’t supposed to do stuff like that. You know, he just thinks it’s gross when I do it. So I don’t even go to the bathroom in front of him.”

Then just today, I saw an old friend on YouTube. She was being interviewed by a man who mentioned poop, so she precedes to say “Oh, I don’t do that. Girls fart rainbows.” She was joking, obviously, but this is not the first nor will it be the last time I’ll run across this type of thing. Let me tell you a secret though. It’s about me. I’m afraid to tell you, because you might judge me. But here goes…

I take shits. All the time. Daily actually! They aren’t any rainbows in the toilet when I go to flush. (Sorry to disappoint) It’s really quite smelly too and I stink up the bathroom. Another thing about me is that I have body hair. Like, not just on my head! It’s between my legs, under my arms, on top of my arms, it’s on my legs even. Oh, even! My upper lip. It’s crazy! I’ve grown quite concerned about all that. But what scares me the most is this thing that happens to me every month. I get really swollen, sort of cranky and pretty sore too. Then it’s like my body murdered someone inside me. I bleed a lot out of my…”girly area” and it’s really pretty frightening and embarrassing. I mean my sheets in the morning look like someone slaughtered a small pig. It’s very difficult for me to tell you all this, because I know I’m supposed to keep it a secret. I’m a girl so I shouldn’t be talking about or having these things happen to me!

..I’m so sick of this mentality! ^ I’m seriously sick of it. Don’t get me wrong. I love makeup, I love getting dressed up, and I love being feminine. Being a women is a beautiful thing. Literally we are more beautiful than men in my opinion. We are delicate (A woman’s body does not have as much muscle mass as a man, but we are not incapable by any means) and we are lovely. But don’t try to dehumanize me. I have bodily functions and needs like all other humans on the planet earth. My body grows hair, it gets sick, it cleans itself. I’m not going to let anyone make me feel ashamed about that anymore. Even women do it to each other. When I’m in the bathroom, I’m afraid that the woman in the stall next to me will hear me unwrapping my feminine product. Why? More than likely she’s one of the billions of women that has a monthly period too! I’m completely and more than 100% done with the stigma.

So, I’m a woman. I eat, I sleep, I grow hair, I have a period and I take shits, because I’m a human too.
The End.

Different, Unique, Odd.

Different, unique, and odd.
Those are all beautiful words to me. Growing up I feel that those words have followed me closely. As well as other words like, strange, unusual, bohemian, and weird. I have always been fond of them. I obviously don’t feel the same way about those words as do most of the people who say them towards me. They say it in a way that implies a fault or a criticism.
“You’re so weird.”, “Wow, you are so strange.” But to me, it is a compliment.

If you look at most successful and influential people throughout history, chances are that person is an oddball or once was. It takes thinking outside of the box to create something new. Thinking from someone else’s viewpoint. Taking different cultural and emotional stands to cause change.

Every single person on this planet is different. Even identical twins grow to have their own minds and characteristics. All of our experiences, how we perceive those experiences and our genetic makeup make us, us. So even if someone thinks they are “Normal”, they are still different in some way from everyone else.

Someone came over to my house last night and they noticed a pin board I have on the wall. They roamed over it with their eyes and saw a quote I had wrote that says, “Organize your life, keep your writing messy.” This quote reminds me that my writing is my controlled chaos. My own wonderland. A blank piece of paper and a pencil is my ticket to different worlds that I’ve created and stories that I can piece together and tear down if I want to. Upon reading that quote, this person said to me, “Very odd, I think you need to talk to a professional about that.” For a split second I felt a sting of pain from his words, then I realized that, oh yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve been called that so I forgot, it’s a compliment. The person who made that comment towards me in all reality was trying to be funny, but he had already made a crack at how I stay up late and that I enjoy science fiction and don’t like routine. Making negative connotations about such things. But I enjoy staying up late and waking up late, I enjoy fiction and make believe, I love seeing things from other peoples viewpoint and learning new things. If that seems weird to some people, that’s fine by me.

When I first got engaged to my husband a couple different people said to me, “But you both are so different!” Yes, we are. It was a good observation, but what they failed to see was the beauty of it. If I married someone like myself, where would be the fun in that? I live with myself every day, I don’t want another of me. I want someone who will challenge my theories, show me new things, make me question things I would never even think to question. My husband loves sports, I don’t like them, but I watch them and I always find things that interest me. Such as sports documentaries and things of that sort. I love fiction and have a huge imagination. My husband enjoys non-fiction and biographies. Because of all these differences it has opened my eyes to a lot of things I would have never known had it not been for our beautiful differences.

One of the best compliments I’ve ever received was from an older man who worked at my library. There was a book sale and he saw all the books I was buying. “Wow, very diverse subjects you have here. Everything from art, science fiction, cars, horror. Do you read these or are some of these for someone else?” He said. “Yep, all for me.” I said. “Well, you are truly a very different and unique young lady.” He said with a big smile and we started talking about all different kinds of books and had a beautiful conversation. I could see quite plainly that this man found beauty in knowledge and diversity. As do I. Agree or disagree, that’s the beauty of being different ūüôā

“I just don’t care”



Hey, I get it, I just don’t care…

We’ve all been there, right? I know I’ve thought it before, and I’ve felt it in a number of different ways.¬†If I’m in a hurry and someone is holding me up, talking about something completely unimportant at the¬†moment I’ll think, “I really don’t care! I just have to go!”.¬†If me and my husband are fighting relentlessly,¬†sometimes I’ll just tell myself, “Whatever, I just don’t care anymore.”¬†If someone says anything bad¬†about me I’ll think, “I don’t care about their opinion anyways.”. If I think I’ve done something¬†embarrassing in front of¬†someone, or if¬†I feel I’ve failed at something, “It doesn’t matter, because¬†I don’t¬†care.

See what I mean? Wow, I do it a lot actually. Those are some of the ways that I personally use, “I don’t care.”¬†At work tonight, I saw something that brought up this topic. Here’s the story.

I am a server/waitress, whatever you want to call me. We have to do a lot of sweeping. Sweeping in the kitchen area, in the¬†dining room, in the “vestibules” as we call them, and so on. There is a designated area where we put all¬†the brooms and dust pans. It is a¬†very¬†high¬†traffic area. Sometimes a broom or dust pan will fall over on to the floor there. Well, tonight I saw exactly that. A broom fell on to the floor right in front of someone. The person looked down at the broom and decided to walk over it. This person was not busy, they were not physically impaired, they were fully aware of the fallen broom, but decided¬†to walk right over it. Now, I am a worrier, so I am usually the first to spot danger, but it’s very plain to see that if anything falls on the ¬†floor in this high traffic area it’s best to pick it up right away so no one falls and hurts themselves. When I saw it happen¬†my hands were completely full with dishes and I was rushing around trying to do about a gazillion things. I really wanted to walk by¬†the broom too. For a second I thought, “Ah, someone else has got to pick it up.” As I put the dishes I had in my hands in to the dirty dish cart a few feet away I watched other people walk over the broom. I couldn’t believe it. My anxiety was building as I pictured someone carrying a huge¬†tray of food tripping over the broom and getting their face smashed in to a plate full of mashed potatoes and broken porcelain. I walked straight over to the broom and picked it up. Yes, I was busy, but it only took about three seconds to pick it up! I think the safety of my coworkers and myself was worth the three seconds of my time it took to stop and pick up that broom. The rest of the night I kept on thinking about what I had saw. The person stopping to look at the broom, make the decision to walk over it, and not care.


1. The provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something
2. Serious attention or consideration applied to doing something correctly or to avoid damage or risk.

1. Feel concern or interest; attach importance to something.
2. Look after and provide for the needs of.
I was reading an article about the decline of empathy among young people in the U.S.
(The person who walked over the broom was 17, 18?)¬†It said, “The research, led by Sara H. Konrath of the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor and published online in August in¬†Personality and Social Psychology Review, found that college students‚Äô self reported empathy has declined since 1980, with an especially steep drop in the past 10 years. To make matters worse, during this same period students‚Äô self-reported narcissism has reached new heights, according to research by Jean M. Twenge, a psychologist at San Diego State University.” The article goes on to say that the decline of empathy is a mystery. No one knows why people, especially young people, are beginning to care less and less.
When I did a Google images search and found the pictures above. I choose the ones that really struck my attention such as, “You could have a terminal illness. STFU.” and “I understand, I just don’t care!” but the one that strangely got me the most was the one featuring the girl holding the balloons on the beach that says, “I don’t care anymore.” The image looked so empowering. This woman seems so free and happy. To me the picture is implying that because this woman no longer cares about something she is better. All of the pictures above give a feeling of empowerment and betterment. Which leads me to this question, is our society being molded in to believing that a lack of care and concern is empowering? A cure for despair and rejection? In a world that is already very self absorbed. That really worries me. Not caring is not a freedom in any way. It’s a closed door, it can become emotionless, heartless, and unhealthy. It is possible to be yourself, get through rough times, and let go of things without not caring!
Someone said to me recently, “You have to give respect to get respect!” and I’ve also heard, “If you don’t care about me, then I don’t care about you!” But to me that means that person is gaining control over my actions and my feelings. I care and give respect to everyone, young old, nice, mean. It doesn’t matter. I won’t let anyone’s negative attitude effect me. ¬†I am a kind person and being kind and having an optimistic outlook on life brings happiness, it’s even scientifically show to make you live longer. Being angry, uncaring or rude has the opposite effect. So, resolving issues instead of shutting down your emotions towards them brings a lasting solution. Putting effort and care in to your job, even if you don’t necessarily want to be there forever, can give you a sense of purpose and can be very rewarding. Caring about the well being of yourself and others can be the most rewarding thing. I vow to not cop out and say “I don’t care.” anymore. I choose to work hard, resolve issues, move on without closing up, care, and not let negative emotions or words get me down. Be yourself, and be kind. Don’t let anything make you in to an uncaring person ūüôā

A Day in the Life of a Woman.

Image           Image



A Day in the Life of a Woman. 

This is the story of my day, completely unfiltered and fun as usual.
I wake up, I put on some pajama pants, (I can’t sleep with pants.)
as I bend over to grab said pants I get a horrible tightening sensation in my pelvic area. 
That pain is my menstrual cramps saying “Good Morning!”. I sarcastically smile to myself
and know that the rest of my day will be filled with headaches, nausea and more cramps caused
by my monthly, female bodily obligation. I walk in to the kitchen and I want to eat everything in sight.
My stomach is growling at me as if I hadn’t ate in days. Then the craving begins, yes I just woke up,
but menstrual cravings know not the day nor hour, only that it must have chocolate immediately! I search
for some chocolate like I’m dying of a disease and the only cure is a bite of chocolate. My husband¬†
happened to be going to the store right then, (He wakes up way earlier than me, and I slept later
than usual because I was up late.) so he asked me if I needed anything. “Chocolate! Oh and get me a wrap and-“
“Just text me a list.” I hurry to my phone and think of all the chocolaty goodness I want from the store.
Send! So, the hubs came back some time later. I got to eat my wrap and had some dessert which consisted
of some delicious Reese’s and Kit Kat bites.¬†Chocolate!!! OM NOM¬†NOM NOM.¬†

Now it’s time to get ready. A friend of mine was going to meet me at the park so we could talk while my
little one played. Just to go to the park, or anywhere, I must put on makeup. I’ve been made fun of¬†
too many times for not wearing makeup when I’m out and about. Recently I went through a
drive-thru with no makeup. The guy who takes the money at the first window took one look at me and said
Wooooo!”¬†He took my money and before I drove away he said, “Have a good day Sir, I mean Mam.” While¬†
laughing his butt off. I guess because I don’t look like a Kardashian after just getting out of bed that’s horrible.

After                                                           Before

The before is me right out of the shower as you can see from my wet hair.
Yes, there is a huge difference! But, seriously do I look like a man without
makeup? Aren’t we all going a little overboard with this kind of stuff…

So I paint my face. That’s basically what makeup is, face paint. I cover all the tiny flaws in my
face, make my eyes appear bigger with liner and mascara, contour my face to make it
seem skinnier. I know all the tricks. I’m pushing for time so I don’t have the extra¬†hour¬†that it takes
if I want to actually do my hair. I put regular clothes on, which includes a bra of course. 
A bra that will be gouging me and constricting my boobs which are extremely swollen
and painful right now because of my monthly female bodily obligation as mentioned before. 
I go to the park, then to the store and I’m completely shot after that. I drive to my parents house which is¬†
close to the store and have to lay on their couch. I’m curled up in pain and dizzy. I don’t want
to drive home. All the while this is happening my husband is probably at home upset that
I’m not home cleaning. After a while I’m starting to feel better, I sit up and I decide to play on my phone
for a bit. I visit Facebook and something unexpected comes up in my suggested
pages. Not suggested friends, Suggested pages. It’s my husbands ex wife. Who I see has almost 350K
followers or likes. Now my stomach hurts again. I start feeling insecure. “She’s prettier than me,¬†
her boobs are bigger than mine, she’s got HOW MANY LIKES?!” Then it hit me………….Enough.
I’m almost 25 years old. I can’t imagine how much TIME I’ve put in to sitting in front of a mirror. Putting
on makeup up or freaking out over a blemish or seeing if I’ve gained weight, or if I’ve lost weight,
comparing myself, ect. So much¬†anxiety. It’s so stressful. It’s tiring.¬†

In Order to Feel like A Woman. 

I have to do my hair. 
Wear makeup.
Shave my legs, under arms, girly area, and yes, my toes.
Wax my eyebrows and lip.
Color my hair.
Wear a bra.
Wear high heels.
Have soft skin.
Smell pretty all the time. Don’t sweat, that’s not lady like.¬†
Feel bad and hide that I have a normal human body that has
gasses and swallowed air that must be excreted daily.
Try and pretend that I’m fine when I have my female bodily obligation
and have people believe that there is a magical pill (Midol) that can make it all go away,
but guess what not everyone, including myself, can take that supposed magical pill.
There is so much more crap that goes along with being a woman that I don’t feel is fair and that I’ve¬†
bought in to my whole life and I’m tired of it. When I wake up, I’m a woman. Nothing can change that,¬†
well, unless I want a surgeon to change my sex but I have absolutely no plans to do that. I’m starting to believe the
modern woman isn’t woman at all. For instance, if I could turn back the hands of time and never start to¬†
shave, never wear a bra, never dye my hair, never wear makeup, I bet I would be a lot prettier. 
You’re thinking, NO WAY! That’s crazy! But is it? Let’s break it down.¬†

Never started to shave-I have never shaved the hair on my arms, I remember the hair on my legs looked
and felt just like the hair on my arms when I was young and first began to shave. So if I hadn’t
started to shave my legs would my hair be soft and almost not noticeable on my legs,
just like it is on my arms? Probably.¬†That means I wouldn’t ever have to deal with stubbly legs,
razor burns, and razor costs.¬†If you’re a guy reading this, I’m sure you have probably felt a girls
leg stubble, ouch and ew.¬†Imagine if your girls leg’s were always smooth, if she has a little hair
on them so what?

Never wear a bra-They say that their are muscles and ligaments in your chest that become
weak when you wear a bra. If you don’t wear one those ligaments and muscles strengthen
and your boobs become less saggy and they perk up naturally. Less back and sholder pain,
and perkier boobs from NOT wearing a bra. 

Never dye my hair-Because I’ve been coloring my hair for a LONG time now, my hair sometimes feels¬†
like doll hair. It’s burnt up by chemicals used to change the color. I have to get it professionally
dyed which costs a lot of $$$ and time. Then I have to buy expensive shampoos and conditioners
to maintain it because of the chemical damage. I can’t just go back to my natural color without
having it shaved off or letting it grow out and having blatant two tone hair for MONTHS. So I 
keep getting it dyed and the cycle never ends. BTW you can’t dye you’re hair the EXACT color
as your natural hair, you can try, but it’ll never be exact and you’ll still see that blatant two tone
effect. My natural hair is silky and probably so much prettier.

Never wearing makeup-Makeup has caused so much damage to my face. Acne scars, 
enlarged pores, premature wrinkles from having layers of makeup sit and weigh my face down
all day. I’m sure my completion would be so much better had I never put makeup on my face and
junked it up. 

So are you getting my point?  The modern woman is pretty, but is she real? The things that make us
feel like women are actually making us less of a woman and more of a prisoner to products and insecurity. 
Women, and everyone have insecurities they face everyday. It could be insecurities with work, your family,
your mate, your friends, anything. If you’re human you’ve probably experienced it before in your lifetime.
Just like I did today with my husbands ex wife, it’s silly, but I won’t deny it did make me feel insecure.¬†
To add the pressure of having to live up to these standards as a woman everyday, along with
other anxieties and insecurities, women are going to tire out. I for one am done buying in to it.
I’m a woman, and I don’t need to buy anything, look like other women, or alter myself in any way to be beautiful. ¬†

Nuff said. Jeesh I’m a hippy lol




Our Toxic Wasteland

Down below you will find a list of my usual morning activities. I’m sure many other Americans share the same routine. I’m becoming more and more aware of the dangerous substances lurking around my home. ¬†Take a look at what could be lurking around your home too.¬†

I wake up and brush my teeth. 

Toothpaste ingredient-SODIUM FLUORIDE
(ACTIVE INGREDIENT)    Developmental/reproductive toxicity, Multiple, additive exposure sources, Irritation (skin, eyes, or lungs), Organ system toxicity (non-reproductive), Occupational hazards

I eat some cereal or other breakfast food similar to cereal.

Cereal ingredient-BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene) and BHA (butylated hydroxyanisole), very common preservatives, banned in nearly every country worldwide (except in the U.S.), are used in nearly every packaged food in the U.S. Test studies published by the IPCS (International Program for Chemical Safety, URL below) show tissue inflammation, enlargement, and/or growths in 100%, and cancer in 35% of subjects. 
Then I take a shower and wash my hair.

Cancer, Ecotoxicology, Allergies/immunotoxicity, Irritation (skin, eyes, or lungs)
Then I wash my body with soap

Soap ingredient-
COCAMIDOPROPYL BETAINE    Ecotoxicology, Allergies/immunotoxicity, Contamination concerns
Then because I’m female I shave my legs and other bits.

Shave gel ingredient-
PROPYLPARABEN    Developmental/reproductive toxicity, Ecotoxicology, Endocrine disruption, Allergies/immunotoxicity

METHYLPARABEN    Biochemical or cellular level changes, Endocrine disruption, Allergies/immunotoxicity

TOCOPHERYL ACETATE    Cancer, Ecotoxicology, Allergies/immunotoxicity, Contamination concerns
Then I get out of the shower and wrap myself in a towel I’ve washed in detergent.

Detergent-The detergent you’re using may contain a cocktail of potent cancer-causing chemicals, some of which the manufacturer doesn’t even have to list on the label. This loophole reduces the odds that you’ll ever discover what’s in there.
Four of the worst offenders are:

Sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS)/sodium laureth sulfate (SLES)
NPE (nonylphenol ethoxylate)

Don’t forget I’ve dried that towel with a dryer sheet containing more chemicals. Then, I put on my clothes washed in the same detergent.¬†

Now it’s time for makeup.¬†

Foundation ingredient-
BENZOPHENONE 3    Enhanced skin absorption, Biochemical or cellular level changes, Developmental/reproductive toxicity, Endocrine disruption, Allergies/immunotoxicity, Organ system toxicity (non-reproductive), Persistence and bioaccumulation
Powder to seal foundation.

Powder ingredient-RETINYL PALMITATE (VITAMIN A PALMITATE)    Biochemical or cellular level changes, Cancer, Developmental/reproductive toxicity, Organ system toxicity

Mascara to darken and lengthen lashes.

Mascara ingredient- RETINYL PALMITATE (VITAMIN A PALMITATE)    Biochemical or cellular level changes, Cancer, Developmental/reproductive toxicity, Organ system toxicity
Then there is eyeliner, eyeshadow, lipstick, bronzer and probably even more stuff that women put on their face! Now comes time to do our hair.

Hair styling product ingredient-LILIAL BUTYLPHENYL METHYLPROPIONAL  Endocrine disruption, Allergies/immunotoxicity, Organ system toxicity (non-reproductive), Persistence and bioaccumulation

Hairspray to keep everything in place.

Hairspray ingredient- OCTINOXATE
(ACTIVE INGREDIENT)    Enhanced skin absorption, Biochemical or cellular level changes, Developmental/reproductive toxicity, Endocrine disruption, Allergies/immunotoxicity, Organ system toxicity (non-reproductive), Persistence and bioaccumulation

Then I go check myself out in the mirror and spritz on some perfume. 

Perfume ingredients-COUMARIN Cancer, Allergies/immunotoxicity
LILIAL BUTYLPHENYL METHYLPROPIONAL    Endocrine disruption, Allergies/immunotoxicity, Organ system toxicity (non-reproductive), Persistence and bioaccumulation
Then last but not least!!!! I have to put on some deodorant. 

Deodorant ingredients-BHT  Cancer, Developmental/reproductive toxicity, Allergies/immunotoxicity, Irritation (skin, eyes, or lungs), Organ system toxicity
CYCLOPENTASILOXANE  Cancer, Ecotoxicology, Endocrine disruption, Organ system toxicity (non-reproductive), Neurotoxicity, Persistence and bioaccumulation
Now I’m ready to go out! I can go eat at my favorite restaurant. They serve food which is genetically modified, drowned in sodium and lacking real nutrition. I will breath in the air filled with pollution and I’ll drink water that has trace pharmaceuticals and other impurities. Then at the end of the day I’ll come home, wash my face with a product filled with more chemicals and I’ll go to sleep on my mattress that is lined with chemicals to make it fire resistant. I wake up in the morning to do it all over again.¬†

While there is not enough toxic substances in each of these things to kill me, or make me sick to the point where I’m vomiting or showing other serious signs of danger, over time the body can’t take these toxins. It’s just too much. After looking in to all of the chemicals I’m faced with everyday, I’m surprised I don’t have cancer already. Our bodies are so amazing and they are able to take a good beating, but seriously, this is too much. I only listed a few of the many toxic ingredients in these products. I also didn’t delve into household cleaners. You can learn a little about it here-

Another good guide is at 
It lists the dangers associated with the chemicals in products we use daily and also shows products that are better for you. 

I say we take a stand to get these ingredients out of the products! Who’s with me?!!?!¬†